Corporate Contender

It is actually happening. On the 14th of December 2012 I will step into an Olympic sized boxing ring and make my fighting debut. Yesterday I arrived home from work to find a message in my inbox from Michael Haddins (Owner of Haddin’s Gym) asking if I was still interested in joining the corporate contender programme and if I could come along to the gym tonight for the first session. I quickly cancelled my karaoke plans and made my way down there.

Corporate Contender is a bit like celebrity boxing in that you get put on an intensive, 9-week programme to learn the skill of boxing and get into fighting shape. At the end of the 9 week training course the contenders are put into a ring in a stadium, under lights, tables surrounding the ring, our own entrance music and ring announcer and even an entourage. We then fight against an opponent who has also trained for nine weeks for 3 rounds of 2 minutes.

Having grown up watching boxing at every opportunity, real and staged, this was an opportunity for me to live the dream of winning an actual boxing match of my own. (Don’t get it twisted, I am training to win, not to take part). There is no doubt in my mind that for the next 9 weeks I will be eating, sleeping and breathing boxing. I will be watching the Rocky films, back to back; I will be jumping up at the screen and fighting alongside DeNiro in raging bull. I will be looking up the training schedules of Christian Bale and Marky Mark for when they trained to star in the fighter.

Most importantly, I have already started to download the Sylvester Stallone reality TV show ‘The Contender’ and will be emulating their workouts and drills. I shall also be watching Ricky Gervais VS Ben Fogle fight (that Ricky won) as I think I will have the weight advantage, but not the speed, height, reach or fitness advantage. In this fight, I will no doubt be the Ricky!

This challenge is also going to mean a temporary but drastic change in lifestyle for me. This is exceptionally important as I know the other guys will be training hard. There is no better motivation for getting rid of my slightly, ok very, hedonistic lifestyle than the fact that I will get beat up in front of all my friends if I don’t.

As of today I will not be smoking any cigarettes, nor drinking any beer, nor eating any cake. I will not be getting seconds for dinner and I will not be taking money to school to buy Zatar. (an Arabic flatbread folded over green herbs – carb central). I will be training at least once a day and will not be going out drinking.
Those of you that know me know that this will be impossible for me under normal circumstances (or even extreme ones like this – MMA fighter anyone?) as I love drinking almost as much as I love smoking and junk food but now is the time. The way I will get through it is to keep thinking how hard my opponent is training.

As I walked into the first session at the gym I was visibly nervous (I was first there as I had to register) but luckily I had calmed down by the time others arrived as I didn’t want them getting the edge straight away. I tried to be as manly as possible, looking right at them as we shook hands meeting for the first time. (something that does not come naturally to me, but, as the saying goes, fake it until you make it)
There was a very small, but very real hint of tension in the gym until the organizer came over and broke it by proclaiming ‘look at you all measuring each other up, wondering who your opponent will be’. As this was so obviously true we laughed and relaxed a bit.

We had to go round the circle and introduce ourselves. I hate this as I always feel under pressure to say something funny, I don’t know why, but it always comes off as smarmy and for others it looks like I am trying too hard.
This time, being a bit more aware about how people should behave in these situations from watching others, I simply said my name (consciously trying to appear as confident as I could) then followed, a little self-deprecatingly, (Really need to stop trying to appeal to people) that I

‘was here to lose weight.’

Then I realized this looked weak so followed that up with

‘and truthfully, I just want a fight’

This made people laugh, albeit a little awkwardly, and I restrained myself from making further comment with a turn of my head to encourage the man sitting next to me to start his social torture.

Overall, I think it was a good showing, I think I conveyed a small amount of toughness (I accentuated the Manc accent for effect too, as I am always more intimidated when someone threatens me with an accent) that maybe made up for my body shape (fat – see picture).

The session itself was good, it tired me out but I wasn’t as out of puff as some of the guys there and I kept going hard until the end. Tomorrow we get our gloves and wraps and I think then it will become more real.
This is a picture of me now, taken just today (15th October 2012). I will be using this as motivation and every two weeks will take another one to compare.
One more thing, and I need your help with it. I need both a song to come out to the ring with and a boxing nickname. Suggestions below please!